Let’s talk postpartum depression! I am now taking Celexa to help with the depression and anxiety and it’s definitely helping. I knew something was wrong when the crying didn’t stop and me wanting to leave my husband and baby didn’t stop. There were times where I was so overwhelmed I left. I never left her alone, always with him. I felt trapped and like I wasn’t being a good mother. No matter how hard I tried, I just felt like a failure. I felt not good enough even though the baby was perfectly fine. I kept thinking I could do something better. When I had my six week postpartum check up I broke down to my doctor. She told me some of the things I was going through was the depression and anxiety and some of it was normal after birth stuff. She suggested I start Celexa and it really has helped. If I forget a day or two, I can tell the difference and so can my husband. I am glad that my husband saw the signs of PPD and instead of cornering me, he talked to me like a regular person. I have great family and friends that have also supported me through this. I was never quiet about my infertility and I won’t be quiet about postpartum depression and anxiety. These things that woman go through shouldn’t be so taboo or frowned upon. We should be able to get support quickly and not whispered about.
Now I face going back to work in the next three weeks. I am dreading it. It’s not that I hate my job, I hate being away from my baby. My baby that I fought so hard to have. Yes she will be with my mom while I am at work but it’s not the same. She should be with me, her mom. Thinking about going back has thrown my anxiety back into overdrive. It’s all I can think about and have been having trouble sleeping because of it. If I didn’t have these stupid student loans, I would be able to stay home with my baby. I would be able to enjoy every morning cuddling her while she twirls the top of her hair. I would be able to clean her bottles all day and change every diaper. I would be the one pushing her in her stroller down the block in the nice weather. Instead I get to miss all of that. I won’t be there to comfort her when her belly hurts from the acid reflux she suffers with. I am the one who knows what she needs by the different cries. Now I get to work all day and come home tired, make dinner, and try to enjoy an hour or so with her. I never envisioned this. It is literally tearing me up inside.
On to happy things! My baby girl is two months old now! She is cooing, smiling, holding her head up, following our voices, and is the perfect snuggle bunny. I wanted to post about the items I have been using and really like.
Feeding- we started with Dr Browns bottles using the preemie and number one slow flow nipples. Now we use tommee tippees more with the size zero nipple. She is on Enfamil Gentlease for her acid reflux/colic. I also use the small formula containers from tommee tippee and that is where I put my pre measured dry formula to take with me when I go out. I also make them each morning and night to have them quickly if she is fussy and I need to make the bottle quicker. I learned that having bottles set up for the day with water measured in them is a little easier. We have her used to room temperature water so we can easily travel with her and not have to worry about heating it up. I measure out the water in about 6-8 bottles every night and use the tommee tippee tops to keep them covered. I keep them on the counter for the day. I am also using a battery operated mixer instead of shaking the bottle to mix the formula. This is the mixer- https://www.amazon.com/Prince-Lionheart-Versa-Formula-Espresso/dp/B00MZ8LP3G/ref=dp_ob_title_baby
Toys- We have the Infantino Grow with me turtle play mat. She loves it. I really love it because I love turtles but she has come around to loving laying down on it for play time. I also lay her down on it while I clean her nursery or fold clothes.
I can’t say enough about rock n plays. We have a simple pink one that she loves. When she first came home from the hospital she slept on her back in the Halo bassinet. Now with her acid reflux, the incline helps her and she sleeps in it instead. It is our saving grace. I lay a fuzzy blanket in it for her to lay on because the material gets a little cold so the blanket keeps her cozy. She loves having aden and anais blankets over her and she grabs them and shakes them all around. We only use them when she is awake. She hates being swaddled but likes to play with the blankets. She also had a security blanket from them she likes. I just bought a Fisher price sit me up frog and she loves it. It has a slight lean so sitting up is easier to learn. She loves to play with the toys that are attached to it as well. https://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-BFB07-Sit-Me-Up-Floor-Seat/dp/B00F2MQ5SC/ref=sr_1_1?s=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1479246322&sr=1-1&keywords=sit%2Bme%2Bup%2Bfloor%2Bseat%2Bfisher%2Bprice&th=1
Clothing- I love sleepers with footies. I find that although zippers are easier, buttons don’t expose all of baby and she stays warm. I have the regular cotton ones and the fleece ones for colder nights.
I love the Jessica Simpson clothes. There is just something about them and love the fox prints!!!
Burts bees makes really cute sleepers, outfits, and hats. The one hat we have is so stinking cute.
Bathing- I use Aveeno shampoo for eczema. She has a small case of it and the oatmeal base really helps. I also use the kit with the oatmeal baths when it’s bad and let her soak in it. I also use Aveeno lotion for eczema and she loves it. It’s a little thicker than the regular lotions. I like to use it on her face too when she has pimple outbreaks or a dry face/forehead.
The only pacifier she will use is the soothies. I am glad they come in a few different colors. I have them all over the house and in my diaper bag now. We use the Dr Browns wipes to clean them or a bottle nipple if dropped or dirty when we are out.
I have the bff jujubee diaper bag and I use sugar snap files to organize the inside. I love them!!! I can just pull them out as I need them and I am not searching all around for this or that. https://www.amazon.com/sugarSNAP-Files-Diaper-Organizer-Inserts/dp/B007VBRHU2/ref=lp_9516372011_1_1_a_it?srs=9516372011&ie=UTF8&qid=1479247189&sr=8-1&th=1
Right now we like pampers over huggies. She seemed more red when I used the huggies and hardly any leaking with pampers. I use huggies and pampers wipes. Huggies wipes are a little thicker which I like. I like butt paste for when she seems a little red and irritated. Oh and this bad boy is the best!!!! I have longer nails so I hate butt cream under them!!! This applicator is soft and she actually likes it. https://www.amazon.com/BabyBum-Diaper-Cream-Brush-Green/dp/B00LYQ53KG?th=1
So we ventured to the mall last weekend and oh did I shop!!! I even bought some new boots. Luckily I had my baby jogger city select stroller. I had my big diaper bag and about 5 bags plus boots in a box in the under carriage!!!! Holy crap can that thing hold a lot. I use the adapter and have the Chicco keyfit 30 carseat. I like it but it’s quite bulky in our little car and now my husband can’t sit in the passenger seat while I drive. His legs are too long and the seat is up too much,
I think that is all for now. I added some links to some items but if you have any questions just let me know.
-Utterlyfighting ❤
UtterlyInfertile & things 