Kabrita- Goats Milk Formula

Okay so it’s no secret how much I love Kabrita goats milk formula and Isabella shares the same feelings. I have her her on this formula since about 4 months old and I have seen her tummy issues disappear along with her eczema. She is a happy 13 month old baby who is in the 96 percentile for everything. We just had her 1 year check up yesterday. The doctor is happy we are using this formula as well. The dreaded 1 year mark where every parent struggles and scrambles to throw out every bottle and pour the formula down the drain. Not this mom. Yes we use cups with spouts and straws for her water or a little bit of juice, but bottles are here to stay a little longer.

She’s down to three bottles a day and a forth if it’s been a long day and she doesn’t want to eat much. I make sure she gets those extra nutrients in with Kabrita formula. We tried cows milk and she had diarrhea and she hated it. She’s okay with it in her cereal at times and some yogurts. In general, she’s got a sensitive tummy and I’m here to advocate for my daughter. So I decided I’m not forcing her to give up her precious goat milk. It’s here to stay. At least until she is two years old.

I’m writing this in her nursery as she’s sleeping. Yesterday she had her check up and today she’s a big fuss bucket. So I had to give extra snuggles tonight. Just making sure she is really sleeping before I slink out into my room for some much needed slumber.

If you’re interested in Kabrita and would like to try it, they have a special offer on their website now and it comes with coupons too. I’ve become a Kabrita affiliate and if you have any questions just message me. I’m sure I can answer it or find the answer for you!

Click here to try Kabrita!

Don’t forget, we are all parents trying to do what’s best for our little ones. Don’t feel pressure to do something just because you feel society or other moms will judge. My mom joked at the zoo yesterday and said “that lady said look at that big baby with a bottle”, meaning my Isabella. Now mind you as I am mixing her formula, I’m already in defense mode because I’m waiting for someone to ask me why I’m not breast feeding. It’s still a sensitive subject for me. Both my sister and I jumped and joked about who cares to each other. Now no one said anything. That’s how my family is. We poke fun at one another. It was the point that society makes us feel this shame if we aren’t doing what “they” think we should be doing. I wave my beautiful goat around and cheer with you all on your own journey in parenthood.



The year of ME! 

Oh how one year has changed me!
With Isabella turning 1 in just under two weeks, I have become very clingy in my opinion. I am staying up later and watching her play, grow, and laugh. I am loving all of the extra snuggles she wants to give as well. She’s already walking out of no where, saying words like mama, mommy, dada, baba, and now putting words together. Her favorite thing to say to us is “what’s this”. Her little voice is amazing. If you ask her if she is a monster, she growls and makes monster noises. I couldn’t imagine my life without this baby girl. 
I have been planning Isabella’s birthday for a while now and the theme is Mermaids and Unicorns. I asked my guests to pick a side and come wearing something that signifies either mermaids or unicorns. I can’t want to decorate the house and have my family and friends celebrate her birthday. 

The more I think about my life, our life, our family, I feel like it is time for a change. I recently have been offered a career change and I took it. I am getting out of the animal field and into the legal field. I love the hours and how close it is to my house. I am able to spend more time with Isabella in the morning now and be home to cook dinner every single night. I will also have every single weekend free. I am nervous about the change but also very excited. 
I am also looking to work more on getting into shape. This is the year for me. I need to be fit before I think about baby number two. Even though I think about having another one almost daily, I know how hard it was on my body. I need to think about that first because it isn’t just me. 

With being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia this year, it hit me hard. It’s not like it was a surprise or anything. I knew it for some reason, but it still made me really upset. With already having diseases or disorders that cause me pain, weight gain, and to be tired all the time, I really didn’t want another thing against me. Now I just have to fight harder. I have to fight harder for us. My instagram will not only be my ttc (trying to conceive) page, but my workout and life page. I am going to open myself even more and share so much more. I hope that all of you that have stayed with me and have followed me from the start continue to do so. I also am not allowed to donate my eggs until my BMI is lower. It’s the one thing that is stopping me when I fill out the clinics forms. So I need to lower it to get on a list and hopefully matched. 

I think once I hit 1,000 followers on instagram (@utterlyinfertile), I am going to do a little give away. I have been tossing around some ideas and just need to make a decision on what it will be. So please share my Instagram/blog so I can reach my goal.

 Hope you all continue to follow and share your stories with me as well. I promise to update my blog even more! 


The struggle is real!

Being a mom is a struggle. Being a working mom is just as hard. I find it hard at times to balance my life now. I try my best stay focused and alert (haha) when I am beyond tired from a rough night with Isabella, then working a shift, and coming home to a teething needy baby. She has been teething since about 4 months old and there are equal good and bad days with it. Stupid teeth! She is now turning 6 months in a few days and has two teeth on the bottom that are through and two on the top are coming in slowly. I feel like all I do is collect her toys, wash them, stick them in the freezer, give them to her so she stops feeling pain for a bit, and repeat. She was almost 17 pounds at her 4 month old check up. I can’t wait to see how much she weighs in a few days. 
I am still dealing with chronic back pain since I had her. I felt lost because my primary said my obgyn should be handling it and my obgyn said to contact my primary. Finally my obgyn saw my and said they can’t do anything and referred me to a pain management doctor. I saw them and had x-rays of my back and spine. He said everything looked okay but he was worried. He didn’t like that I have numbness in my legs and right arm as well. He sent me to another office for an MRI and I am waiting on the results of that. He said I probably have to do some physical therapy as well. I can’t sleep at night because of the pain and my kid sleeps through the night! That’s not fair!! He’s not sure if the pain is from the epidural, labor, or the pregnancy itself. I really hope I don’t have nerve damage. I also have diastatis recti. I can fit 3 fingers between my muscles. Towards the end of the day from baby lifting and work, my stomach feels bulged out and painful. I am trying my best to not do strenuous things, but it’s hard. My doctor said he can’t surgically fix it until I’m done having babies because it would just re-open. So once my MRI comes back clear (hopefully) then I will start my physical therapy and also yoga and physio exercises. 
On another note, I rather not wait long to try for baby number 2. I told my husband this and he is not completely on board…yet. I just know how long it took us last time and then we had to do intrauterine inseminations. He’s fine with the whole “not trying, but not preventing” thing. I am fine with that as well for now but I would like to start back on medications by her 1 year birthday. I also was interested in donating my eggs, so not sure if I should do that now or after my next pregnancy. I just don’t know if I am able to donate or which hospital will take mine because I am a spinal muscular atrophy carrier. So I might not be able to and that will crush me. I wanted to become a surrogate but my pregnancy was so hard and I was so sick the whole time, it would be too hard to do that right now. If no one can take my egg donation then I will look more into gestational surrogacy. As sick as I was when pregnant, I loved every minute of it. 
Some exciting news is about to happen. I think I’m finally going to open my etsy account. I’ve had it set up for months now, but haven’t had enough courage or time I guess?! I have hand painted ceramic eggs, painted wooden mermaids, and pineapples! The shop will be named after the little one we had lost in November of 2015. 

-utterlyfighting ❤

YONO – the world’s first ear ovulation predictor!!

So luckily I am teamed up with the amazing YONOlabs and am testing the worlds first in ear ovulation predictor. If you check out their website https://www.yonolabs.com/ there is a ton of information listed on how to use it, what it does exactly, how to order one, and why it’s the best way to track your basal temperature. YONO measures your core body temperate instead of skin which can be affected by the temperature around you. By using this device, which I may say fits so nicely in my ear, I am able to track my basal temperature daily and better predict my ovulation. For someone who has pcos , this is amazing. My cycles are always random so I am never sure when I am ovulating. When I did my first IUI in 2015 my cycle and ovulation was different from my second IUI. I am hoping by using this, I can avoid the medications and treatments we used last time to conceive. I’m not saying or denying we might have to resort to them again, but a woman’s body is amazing. You never know what it can do. 

Night 1 which was cycle day 2 turned out well. I placed it in my left ear because I usually sleep on my right side. I am very picky about things touching my ears and usually don’t like ear buds to listen to music, so I was nervous. YONO made this little ear bud with comfort in mind. I didn’t even realize it was in my ear after a while!!! I fell asleep around 11pm and officially (I’m a light sleeper) woke up at 6:25am! I took the ear bud out, opened my app, placed my ear bud in the base station. It did its little magic once I hit connect on the app and downloaded my basal temperature which was 97.35F. This was so darn easy!! I will keep everyone updated throughout this month. I am also going to be using ovulation test strips (wondfo) on cd10 for 10 days. 

I really hope that by me sharing my experience I can help others ttc as well. I hated taking my temperature daily and stopped because I just couldn’t do it anymore. But YONO seems very promising and super easy to use!!! Wish me luck! 

-utterlyfighting ❤

Baby girl is 1 month old & I am getting crafty!

So I decided to do a photo shoot with a ton of flowers and mini pumpkins for her 1 month old pictures. The night before she was 1 month old , my husband and I had her out majority of the day and completely forgot to stop at the market for flowers. So the next morning I woke up, fed her a bottle, and ran out the door for some flowers! I cleared off my kitchen table (it’s become a collector of all random shit since I gave birth) and got to cutting. I cut the flowers stems a little below the bud. I left the foliage as is until I began building the number 1 and then trimmed them as needed. I grabbed my big neutral colored quilt and threw it on the floor in the living room because it had the most natural light. I then grabbed all of the foliage and flowers and got to work. I will say I have a background in floriculture, but this wasn’t hard to do. You just have to know where to cut the flowers that are more delicate because you could ruin it and loose all of the petals. I laid out my stencil using the foliage then added the biggest flowers first. After I saw where I liked the bigger flowers, I added the smaller ones in as a filler. Then I just placed some mini pumpkins in there and called it a day. I slid Isabella out of her rock n play and slowly dressed her into her outfit. I wanted her as she woke up because she is just so sweet at that moment. I made a collage of the steps as I went.



I have been thinking for a few years now about opening my own Etsy shop and doing some crafting. I enjoy making things but I wanted to focus them on infertility awareness. My end hope is to some how help others with the cost of infertility. So I have to start somewhere. I was thinking about making braided pacifier clips and homemade muslin swaddle blankets. I already have my pineapple stamp ready! I really hope you all like what I begin to create. Once I get all of my materials I ordered, I will make a post and open my account. What do you all think?  Here is a quick picture of the pacifier clip I made today for our pumpkin patch visit this weekend.



On another note, let’s talk baby. Being home with her these last few weeks have been amazing. I love every second of it. Right now we are dealing with reflux issues. When I was in the hospital, I was able to nurse her and was only producing colostrum. We were discharged on a saturday and had our first pediatrician appointment that monday morning. We found out she lost a whole pound since birth. I knew something was off on sunday when I just felt like my breasts weren’t full. I tried almost everything in my opinion and my milk just never came in. I have read that polycystic ovarian syndrome plays a role in this. Gotta love another blow. Forever, all I wanted was to have a child. It took years. Then I find out I can’t even feed my own child. This child I fought so hard for I was now starving. I immediately began to give her formula. She began to have issues swallowing it and we had to switch to Dr. Browns bottles with the slowest flow nipple. We were using Enfamil newborn for a few days and then mixed each bottle with both the newborn formula and the gentlease they make as well. She has the bottle down now and prefers the Tommee Tippee bottles instead. For the past week I have noticed she arches her back at times, grabs at her stomach, has issues pooping, and yesterday was spitting up which she has never done. So now after being diagnosed with reflux we are starting off slow and just switching her formula from the mixture to just the gentlease. If that doesn’t help in a few days then we discuss again with the doctor on switching to a different brand of formula or hypoallergenic and if we are going to add medications. Fingers crossed this formula switch is it!!!

Have a great day!

P.S. Doesn’t Isabella resemble Ace Ventura? That hair!!!!!


-utterlyinfertile  ❤

Mama’s got a brand new schedule! 

So after the first two weeks home from having a baby, now you’re really left home alone. You are doing all of the feedings, changing a, play times, and consoling yourself. I will admit the first day was scary. If I was fully recovered and not in pain, it wouldn’t of been so scary. All I kept thinking was I’m going to be upstairs in the bathroom with my squirt bottle and she’s going to wake up screaming for one of the many reasons newborns get upset. How can I get to her fast enough? Fortunately when you’re left with those decisions, your mommy mode kicks in and you’re fine. You don’t even think about slowly getting off the couch. You hop off that glorious seat cushion, make a bottle so fast, and are already putting a bib around her now red neck from all that newborn screaming fun she just did. You just get it done. Then finally after feeding, burping, laughing at her as she rolls her eyes at you, she slowly falls asleep. Don’t get up yet. She will know and the screams will be worse! Let her fall into a deeper sleep before you slowly slide her into her fisher price rocker ninja style and get to cleaning. There’s always laundry and bottles that need to be cleaned! Nap when she naps? That’s funny. My house would look like a dumpster. Now you’re husband will come home from work where he had the pleasure to talk to adults all day and will be tired. All you want to do is slide her over to him and eat a hot meal but she needs to be fed again. This endless cycle is comical. Comical because no matter how tired or frustrated I get, I wanted this. I wanted all of this for the longest time. I fought hard for it and that’s what gets me through the tough times. When she holds onto my shirt so tight when she’s napping, it melts my heart. She knows I’m her mom. I hope she knows each and every day how much I fought for her. She’s worth all of the heartache to get here. 

Pumpkin everything!!!!

  I wish we had pumpkins year round. I love the fall crisp air and pumpkins everywhere! Do you all have a favorite fall drink? I literally count the days for Starbucks pumpkin spice latte and stalk their Twitter. Stalk!!! I drink way too many and I don’t care. I get a soy pumpkin spice latte with whipped cream and mocha drizzle. Usually grande but definitely threw the barista off this morning with a venti. Hey , I was training a new person at work today and I needed my big latte! Ended up training two at once alone, which made Friday very interesting. My husband surprised me last night with pumpkin shaped Reese cups. He knows my weaknesses! I can’t wait until next weekend because we are going to the pumpkin patch with my family. Tomorrow we are going to dinner with friends and a haunted house. Can’t stinkin wait! 
I did my nails last night while waiting for he hub to come home from work. I am really liking this nude color from Red carpet manicure called fake bake. Added some sparkle on top because why not?


It’s like CD 50 something and still no period. Definitely not pregnant so why not show up you biotch?! Waiting until next week and then going in for blood work and an ultrasound to see where I am in my cycle and probably starting medication to make AF appear! December really can’t come soon enough so we can do our first iui. I smile just typing that!!!!